If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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