4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
