Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
