Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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