I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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