Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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