We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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