i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
