He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
