Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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