i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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