i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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