Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
