your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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