i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
