I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
where does the pee come out of this thing
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
