do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize