I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
