one might say we're banned from that church
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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