No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize