I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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