the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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