She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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