Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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