We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
