Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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