no, he came in my armpit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
