dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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