omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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