final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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