I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You brought string cheese to the strip club
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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