Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
