That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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