girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
