Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
