I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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