As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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