Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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