She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
