What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
