I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
