we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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