I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
zippers are such a cool invention
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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