Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
