He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
