Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

Fav 12 1003 3889
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(815): View more from Illinois

the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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(614): View more from Ohio

I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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(425): View more from Washington

You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

(206): View more from Washington

The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

Fav 8 2135 998
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

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(708): View more from Illinois

Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.

Fav 4 69 45
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(919): View more from North Carolina

She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.

Fav 0 93 6
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