I need help removing her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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