soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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