Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
