he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
