Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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