All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
