i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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