the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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