Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just invented taco cereal.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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