i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
