what day is it and did you see me today?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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