All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
