Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
