im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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