Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
