Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
