Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
