i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
