sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
