just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
