Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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