where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
