I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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