we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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