i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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