I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
